At the Time of Weakness a Taste of What is Wrong can Taste so Good

This past summer was a summer that I will never forget.  It was full of pain, and sorrow.  It was a true test of my faith, but it saddens me to say I have failed in that test.  This past summer I have lost someone who is very dear to me.  That person is my dear grandmother.  And as if that was not enough, my parents decided to have a huge argument that they came so close to being divorced.  These two things have really brought me down to the point that I had a horrible panic attack and ended up in the emergency room and it was recommended to me to see a therapist.  At that point I felt so weak.  At that point I had a small taste of the wrong.  At work everyone found out of what I am going through, and of course they had to express there sorrow to me through the only way they know how in the American culture, through HUGS.  I was vulnerable and weak, I couldn't refuse like I always have in the past.  I had a small taste of the wrong and it tasted kind of good.  Now, I have lost myself and searching to gain it back. So I ask You Allah to provide me with the strength I need to stay away from what is wrong, and I ask You for forgiveness for I have wronged myself and if you haven't forgiven me I will be from among the losers.